The not so obvious OCD mum

I wrote up an entire post on my first session and unfortunately lost the lot! Gutted. I'l first explain that i was on a waiting list for Cognitive behavioral therapy for around 6 months which flew by for me as i was doing other things in the mean time to try and help myself through this illness.  If you'd like to have a read of what i done then this link here will take you to my post all about  What i found help relieve the anxiety, if only slightly Although i found other things that helped me i could have really done with CBT back when i was in my worst place with OCD, when i really didn't understand it all or what was happening to me.  The only thing i would say on how waiting so long has worked in my favor is that it gave me time to research and i honestly think for me knowledge of OCD and all the research I've done on the illness has helped me understand how it works. I have bad days now and then but i'm not in the place i was which is a huge step in the

So i am due to go to my very first CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) session on Tuesday 19th December and i am honestly feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiousness. Excitement is probably a little over the top, i'm more just looking forward to it because I've heard such good things about this type of therapy and i'm so hopeful for it to help me. I am feeling a little anxious because i haven't been to anything like this before so its a bit of fearing the unknown and what my therapist will want me to talk about. I have seen a Councillor before, she was through a charity who were working with my doctors surgery and while i was on the waiting list for CBT i chose to see their Councillor.  Unfortunately it didn't work out, i was let down after my very first session because the Councillor i was seeing would simply not turn up to my session or i wouldn't hear back regarding when my next session was or she would just cancel and try to rearrange on a

Hi all of you lovely people who visit my blog for one reason or another, I've kind of neglected my blog over the past month, for several reasons really. The first mainly being down to our house being hit by an infection of some sort which meant my 2 boys and the OH were unwell for 3 weeks, 3 weeks!!! I missed some college to take care of the boys - J missed some school, baby D missed some nursery and the OH soldiered on into work regardless.  Then just when everything was slowly getting back to normal and back into routine i broke my toe last Sunday, 3 hospital trips and an x ray confirmed its definitely broken and of course not to mention the beautiful shade of green/purple that my foot has gone.  I feel proud to add that i have never ever, until now, broken a single bone in my body. Prior to both of these things i was struggling to write a few posts that i wanted to on here along with also finding that i was having the odd 'bad' day.  I spent one night writing up a

Winter 2016  I posted recently about my smallest boy turning 1 and i just can't believe it came round so quickly. It only feels like yesterday he was a teeny tiny newborn, while J was still only small too, not really understanding that he had a baby brother and his speech was slowly just coming along.  Looking at them both now i have a bouncing little boy toddling around and an almost 5 year old school goer, where on earth an the time gone?! When i found out that i was having a boy at my 18 week scan of my second pregnancy i wasn't too sure how i felt, i was mainly over the moon that my growing baby was well and happy in there, that's all that truly mattered to me. I can tell you i was not disappointed at all but at the same time i felt as though i just knew deep down that i was going to have a boy all along. I had a scan at around 15/16 weeks and i asked the sonographer if she could tell at all what we could possibly be having and she told me a girl! I told

Leading up to baby D turning one whole year old i felt so excited for him yet at the same time i don't want him to get any bigger, i love this age and his size, hes just adorable! Over the recent months he has learnt to crawl, climb, stand without help and play with his big brother, which is amazing to watch. I couldn't feel any prouder of this little boy of mine, from the day i found out i was pregnant to right now i've felt nothing but want and love for him.  He has amazed us non stop with how quickly he can crawl, how brave he is when he bumps himself and doesn't get upset, how stubborn he is when he wants something or doesn't want something he makes sure its known. He can say 'ilk' for milk, 'apple' 'anana' for banana, 'amma' for grandma, 'mam a', 'more' 'ba' for bath and 'up up' with his arms stretched out to be picked up.  He can feed himself his little bite sized pieces that i chop his foo

I wanted to do a post discussing in some round about kind of way on how i have realised that i had the strength to make it through my darkest time, just prior to being diagnosed with OCD.  I found myself thinking today randomly back to one morning at the very beginning of this illness. I refer to it as an illness because of everything i suffered and am still slightly suffering with. It is an illness in that it consumes you, it can make you feel extremely unwell, you don't feel yourself, you may over eat or not eat at all, in my case i couldn't bare to eat and that made me unwell in myself. It can rob you of your happiness, your sleep, your confidence and the worst part is that it creeps up on you and steals a place in your mind. Anyway, as i said, i found myself thinking back to one morning at the very beginning of this illness. I was at home this particular morning, At this point i didn't exactly understand what i was going through and i had decided to stay at home